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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991227">feral for u.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/h2owo/pseuds/h2owo'>h2owo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i believe in hinata harem supremacy [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cute Hinata Shouyou, Cute Kozume Kenma, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Jealous Kozume Kenma, Kenma just wants one uninterrupted night with his husband, M/M, Married Couple, Random game references, catblocked, they get a cat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:14:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/h2owo/pseuds/h2owo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shouyou brings a kitten home one day. It goes well until it doesn't, and suddenly Kenma has to assert dominance to a cat in his own got damnt home.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i believe in hinata harem supremacy [19]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1627243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>363</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>feral for u.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>WAHHHHHH i'm getting this out here before i disappear for dead week ;; please pray for me</p><p>anyways, here is a fic about kenhina + their cat baby! i didn't think about it before i wrote this, but this can kind of be seen as a somewhat sequel to "oops."! but ofc, you don't need to read that one to know what's going on in this one hehe</p><p>i hope you enjoy uwuuuu</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kenma remembers the time Kumo came home like it was just yesterday. He’d tattoo the sight of a rain-soaked Shouyou holding the little kitten on his forehead if he could, but that’d mean that other people get to see it, too. Perhaps he’ll consider a butt tattoo instead, or something along those lines.</p><p> </p><p>He’d just finished up a stream, and while waiting for Shouyou to come home, he sat himself at the dining table, chin rested on the cool wooden surface. He initially wanted to get a snack, but if he did, he wouldn’t be hungry and desperate enough to hang around Shouyou while he cooks, so he decided against it.</p><p> </p><p>But then five minutes passed. Then ten. Then fifteen. Then by the end of a near hour wait, Kenma’s resolve broke and he groaned in hunger, hastily pushing himself up from his seat to grab a snack. The cabinet looked like the entrance to heaven to him, neat rows of snacks seated in front of him, practically begging to be eaten. He grabs a random bag of chips and bumps his hip against the cabinet to close it. And in the time he’s distracted from opening the ridiculously difficult-to-open chip bag, he fails to hear the front door unlock.</p><p> </p><p>It’s only when he hears a pitiful sounding <em>meow </em>that he finally turns his head, mouth stuffed full of chips, and is met with the adorable sight of a drenched Shouyou cradling something underneath his jacket, close to his chest. The ginger closes the door quickly as he enters, lifting his head to showcase the softest pout to his husband.</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma, help.”</p><p> </p><p>And then he lowers his gaze just enough to see the pair of gray-spotted ears that peek out past the hem of the younger’s jacket.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Apparently he was found near the entrance to their apartment complex, hidden behind the tall grass and bushes. Shouyou tells Kenma that he heard something on the way home from his jog (which was ruined by the rain), and he didn’t have the heart in him to ignore it, so he decided to take some time to go figure out what was going on.</p><p> </p><p>“And then I found this little guy,” Shouyou says, glancing down at the sleeping kitten in his arms with all the love and fondness of a parent.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma is enamored.</p><p> </p><p>To be honest, he wasn’t really listening to Shouyou’s story—not because he’s a bad story teller or anything, God no, but because he was so distracted by the sight of Shouyou, a cute, tiny, fluffy human cradling an equally (not really) cute, tiny, fluffy kitten. It was a two-hit combo! A right hook followed by an uppercut! A fire-type move being used on a grass and bug-type!</p><p> </p><p>So really, all he heard was <em>blah blah blah, kitten.</em></p><p> </p><p>Which isn’t really <em>incorrect, </em>per say, right? Just a little too brief, but that didn’t really matter.</p><p> </p><p>All that mattered in this moment was that Kenma got to see Shouyou happy.</p><p> </p><p>“What should we name him?”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou’s question brings his attention back to their conversation (more like Shouyou speaking to a simping wall), and Kenma kinda blanks out.</p><p> </p><p>“Uhhh…”</p><p> </p><p>“I was thinking we could do something cute, y’know?! I have some basic choices in mind—they’re really basic, but being basic never hurt anyone!”</p><p> </p><p><em>I’d beg to differ, </em>is what Kenma would like to say. But Shouyou just has the sweetest grin on his face. Okay, he can sit through this. Anything for Shouyou, the love of his life.</p><p> </p><p>Smiling, Kenma repositions himself, relaxing into a slouch as he tilts his head at his husband.</p><p> </p><p>“Alright, let’s hear it.”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Turns out, Shouyou is <em>terrible </em>at picking cat names. Kenma thinks he’ll have to handle naming their kid in the future. What, don’t look at him like that—naming his child after someone as cool as Saitama or Saiki K is <em>much </em>better than something like <em>Fluffy, </em>or <em>Mr. Floofy face.</em></p><p> </p><p>(But to be fair, he could also see the turmoil his kid would feel if he were responsible for naming them.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Pa, why was my sister named Aoi?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Because it reminds me of the times your father soared into the sky as a pro volleyball player.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh cool, thanks, Pa.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“You’re welcome, Ninja Shouyou’s Best Spikes, Digs and Sets Compilation 2020.”)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Yeah, neither of them are great at this.</p><p> </p><p>He looks at the kitten in Shouyou’s arms, lips pursed. The little baby had his arms and legs going everywhere, tiny paws flailing around. Kenma reaches out to press a paw pad between his fingers and feels his life span extend by a few years.</p><p> </p><p>“Isn’t he so soft?” Shouyou asks, keeping his voice to a low whisper when he leans down to kiss the kitten’s pink nose.</p><p> </p><p>Nodding, Kenma silently agrees that he both looks and feels soft, kinda like cotton. Mostly white, with small gray patches on his ears and on his legs, making it look like he has socks on. Cotton, soft, mostly white, soft, soft, clouds, <em>clouds</em>—</p><p> </p><p>“Kumo.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mm?”</p><p> </p><p>“What if we name him Kumo?”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou takes a moment to register it, but when he does, he straightens out, eyes wide and sparkly.</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma, you’re a genius!”</p><p> </p><p>Said man leans back against the wall he was situated by and gives a small shrug, secretly basking in the attention he was getting from his husband. Psh, Kuroo would make himself hyperventilate if he could see what marriage has done to his best friend (not that he was already whipped when they were dating or even <em>before </em>they were dating, what are you on).</p><p> </p><p>“Genius enough to get some kisses?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, you big baby.”</p><p> </p><p>But Shouyou still leans in to press kisses all over his face, so he’ll consider this a win for himself, thank you very much.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>And like that, <em>Kumo </em>becomes a part of their daily life.</p><p> </p><p>The first week or so was the most difficult, with Kuroo getting more calls from Kenma in that one week than he has since they first met.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Kuroo, what do I do?!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Dude, chill, Kumo is still a baby, yeah? He’s still learning how to cat, let him be.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“No, you don’t get it. I caved and gave him a treat after I scolded him for shitting in my slippers and now he’s done it three days in a row!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“…”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“He gave me The Eyes, there was no way I could say no to him!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“…Kenma, you dumb fucker.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>And then there was Shouyou’s call to Kuroo one time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Kuroo-san, Kenma is crying!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Oh no, did you toss out his collection of your butt pics?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry, what?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Fuck—Uh… I meant—did you accidentally toss out his new game?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Nice one, Kuroo.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“No, oh my gosh, I would never! Kenma is crying because Kumo sat in his lap today! Willingly!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Sometimes, Kuroo feels like a parent to these two himself.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>They learn to kitten-proof every surface of their apartment, moving all the food and snacks to higher shelves where Kumo won’t be able to reach them. They learn to become more selective with their hearing because as it turns out, the fucker won’t leave them alone, more specifically, he won’t leave Shouyou alone. But Kenma is usually with Shouyou, so it applies to him, too!</p><p>
  
</p><p>He wants to take a shit? Kumo is there.</p><p> </p><p>He wants to eat breakfast? Kumo is seated right on his plate.</p><p> </p><p>He wants to do a stream? Kumo is right outside his door, scratching the hell out of it and screaming his lungs out.</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou is good at calming the kitten down—<em>separation anxiety, </em>he tells Kenma, who partially gets it but also partially doesn’t want to deal with it.</p><p> </p><p>So he sits down with Kumo one day when Shouyou is out on a jog (he checked the weather this time), and places Kumo right in front of him, on his gaming desk, so they were as close to eye-to-eye as possible. The kitten seems curious, but isn’t curious enough to walk around just yet, so Kenma takes the opportunity to give him a little talk.</p><p> </p><p>“Kumo, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>The kitten tilts his head to the side at the sound of his name, and it’s adorable but Kenma has to stay <em>strong! </em>He needs to get this message across to this non-English speaking, non-rent-paying, irritatingly adorable, month old kitten!</p><p> </p><p>“Pa and Dad are always here, you know that right?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma waits for a response, which is ridiculous in hindsight, but this is his first time parenting, please go easy on him. He eventually gets a little blink, which he deems is enough of an answer.</p><p> </p><p>“And you know that if we ever leave for a little while, that we always come back, right?”</p><p> </p><p>He gets a yawn this time. Not optimal, but it’s whatever at this point.</p><p> </p><p>“You gotta tone it down with all the meowing and whining is what I’m getting at here. You’re being too loud, and a lot of times, you do this <em>right </em>when Pa wants to do some special things with your Dad. And it’s driving me nuts. So tone it down, yeah? Do I make myself clear?”</p><p> </p><p>“Meow.”</p><p> </p><p>“Excuse me, little man, what did you just call me?!”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Meow.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Kenma asks Kuroo on tips on how to scold his fur baby and gets a badly photoshopped picture of Kuroo laying in a hospital with the caption <em>I’m dead. </em></p><p> </p><p>He resorts to asking Aone instead.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>--</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Living with Shouyou means a lot of things, and one of those many things is that he always wakes up warm and comfortable. Just like today.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma smiles and sighs softly as he turns his head to nuzzle into Shouyou’s hair, <em>wow, has it always been this soft? </em>He presses a kiss into Shouyou’s hair, lazily blinking his eyes open when he’s met with white instead of the anticipated orange.</p><p> </p><p>“G’morning, Shouyou—you’re not Shouyou.”</p><p> </p><p>He squints his eyes a little more and tilts his head up enough to see two little white and gray triangles popping out of the soft figure next to him. And <em>next</em> to that figure was his husband. Kenma’s lips pull up into a thin smile, not out of endearment that he has another member in his family now, but out of the sad realization that just earlier, he kissed not Shouyou’s hair, but Kumo’s butt.</p><p> </p><p>“Man, fuck you,” he hisses at a sleeping Kumo, who was curled comfortably above <em>his </em>head, on <em>his </em>pillow, on <em>his—</em>well, his and Shouyou’s bed. Same thing!</p><p> </p><p>He starts to try numerous things the next night to ensure that he neither gets separated from his husband nor that he ever kisses Kumo’s butt again. No, he didn’t ask Kuroo for help this time.</p><p> </p><p>He’s tried:</p><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>Hugging onto Shouyou tightly. Kenma sadly crosses this off after trying it a couple nights in a row only to wake up to Kumo’s feet every time.</li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>Closing the door before they go to sleep. Kenma also crosses this off when Kumo cries loud enough to wake up the entire building and then receives cuddles and kisses from Shouyou in their bed. Kenma swears that the kitten smirked at him, the little bastard.</li>
</ul><p> </p>
<ul>
<li>Hugging onto Kumo instead so at least he isn’t laying in between him and Shouyou. This results in him getting numerous bite marks and also a cat’s ass in his face. Kenma crosses this one off with red marker a good ten times.</li>
</ul><p> </p><p>“Kenma, love, you don’t look so well.”</p><p> </p><p><em>Yeah, no shit </em>is the response he would’ve given just about anyone else. But this wasn’t anyone else. This was Kozume Shouyou, the love of his life, his one and only husband, looking at him with an unfairly pretty look on his face. Kenma simply pats the hand Shouyou had rested on his shoulder and sighs.</p><p> </p><p>“I think Kumo’s out to sabotage me.”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou giggles at that <em>what a heavenly sound, </em>but Kenma can’t stress enough how much of a serious topic this is.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re so silly, Kenma.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m not,” Kenma whines, reaching out to pull Shouyou closer to him by the waist, burying his face in the ginger’s warm chest. “I swear, he’s trying to put distance between us. I can’t even wake up next to you anymore!”</p><p> </p><p>“Love, he’s just a little kitten. I think he’s just lonely, don’t you think? And maybe a bit worried that <em>he </em>might wake up alone at any given point?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma turns his head so his cheek is smooshed against the ginger, and he gives a half-assed grunt at the suggestion. Sure, he wouldn’t put it past Kumo to feel these things, he was found outside their apartment complex after all, but then again… Kenma needs quality Shouyou time, too.</p><p> </p><p>He watches as said kitten appears from behind his slightly opened door, walking in with purposeful strides and landing right in front of Shouyou and Kenma. The taller makes a face at Kumo, hugging Shouyou a little tighter.</p><p> </p><p>“You may be cute, but I’m onto you, you gremlin.”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou laughs again, wrapping his arms around Kenma’s head, pulling him in impossibly closer.</p><p> </p><p>“Geez, you’re such a big baby,” he starts, ignoring Kenma’s mutter of <em>no, you’re the baby, </em>“if you’re so affection-deprived, why don’t we…”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s head whips up so fast, he barely has time to register whether or not the crack he heard was from his neck. He stares at Shouyou with wide eyes, anticipating what he was about to say next.</p><p> </p><p>“Why don’t we all sit down and do a family movie night?”</p><p> </p><p>Mission failed.</p><p> </p><p>Kenma slumps against Shouyou’s chest and gives in to the ginger’s suggestion, though he makes sure to sit as close to Shouyou as possible. He would’ve had him in his lap, but Shouyou is always worrying about whether or not he’s too heavy (<em>nonsense, </em>Kenma always tells him), so they usually just lean against each other’s shoulders.</p><p> </p><p>Yes, Kumo falls asleep on him, and yes, it’s the cutest thing he’s seen in a while (what is he saying, he sees Shouyou every day), but no, he hasn’t forgotten about how Kumo is <em>definitely </em>sabotaging him. That’s why he spends the next hour giving Kumo head scritches and listening to his loud purring. For <em>research </em>purposes.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>Hey, remember what Kenma said about Shouyou and Kumo looking cute together because they’re both cute, tiny, and fluffy?</p><p> </p><p>Yeah, well, Kenma might just have to toss that statement out the window because this is the fifth time he’s received a bite for wanting to kiss his own husband.</p><p> </p><p>“What on <em>Earth </em>do you want?!”</p><p> </p><p>He glares down at Kumo, who leaped up onto the kitchen island to claw at Kenma’s shirt. The kitten didn’t seem too happy about Kenma having his arms around Shouyou, head rested on the ginger’s shoulder to press kisses there. Well, to <em>attempt </em>pressing kisses there.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Meowwwww!”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>“Oh, come on! I can’t even kiss my own husband now?!”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo hisses, dragging his claws over Kenma’s shirt once again, the poor thing getting a step closer to being reverted to thread. And like a child, Kenma hisses right back, kissing the base of Shouyou’s neck right after to prove his point: Kumo can’t do anything about this! Shouyou is Kenma’s, whether he likes it or not!</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma, did you just hiss at the kitten?”</p><p> </p><p>“What, was I supposed to just stand here and let myself be cockblocked by a <em>cat</em>?!”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou rolls his eyes and places his spoon down, turning to grab both Kenma and Kumo by their collars and tossing them out of the kitchen and back into the living room. Kenma’s splayed across the floor while Kumo looks up at the ginger with a pitiful meow and cry. Despite his husband’s concerning posture and the kitten’s persuasion, Shouyou doesn’t falter, lifting up a finger to shake at the two.</p><p> </p><p>“You both are being children right now, and I can’t focus on cooking when you’re at each other’s necks right behind me!”</p><p> </p><p>“But baby, he can’t even reach my neck—”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma pauses and rethinks what he wants to say when both Shouyou and Kumo pin him down with unreadable stares.</p><p> </p><p>“I mean, I’m terribly sorry, Shou, I—<em>we </em>won’t do it again.”</p><p> </p><p>He’s sitting on his knees now, hands folded in his lap in the perfect image of a child being scolded. Pride be damned, as long as Shouyou won’t kick him out of he bed tonight for arguing with the cat.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, whatever you say. Stay here until I finish cooking, okay?!”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma nods, only breaking character when Shouyou turns to leave, turning around to puff out his cheeks at the one who started everything. The kitten, as if already knowing that Kenma was about to scold him, gives him a blank look before leaping up onto the couch to groom himself.</p><p> </p><p>“You knew what you were doing weren’t you,” Kenma huffs under his breath, not wanting to be caught by Shouyou, because if there’s anything he’s learned about his husband, it’s that he’s possibly the scariest person to walk the surface of the Earth when he’s angry. He hasn’t experienced anything first-hand, but he has heard stories from MSBY about a time a reporter talked shit in front of them and oh <em>boy, </em>he hopes the reporter is okay.</p><p> </p><p>“Kumo, are you even listening to me?!”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo, from his spot on the couch meows nonchalantly and rolls onto his back.</p><p> </p><p>“You sit up right this instant, young man, I’m talking to you!”</p><p> </p><p>The kitten stares at him from his upside-down position, scrunches up his nose, and then sneezes with a tiny head shake. Kenma’s heart involuntarily does a thing.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, that was adorable, but you’re still a menace, you hear?!”</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Kenma!”</p><p> </p><p>Said man pulls his headphones to the side, leaning as far back into his chair as possible without falling.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, baby?”</p><p> </p><p>“Could you help me with something?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s up before he even tells Shouyou that <em>yes, </em>he can help him with something, <em>anything—</em>he’d drag the sun down from the sky and scold it for trying to outsell Shouyou—</p><p> </p><p>“Kumo needs his nails trimmed, but I’m a little busy with something. Could you do it for me?”</p><p> </p><p>Feet frozen, Kenma turns his head back in the direction of his room and thinks.</p><p> </p><p>If he goes back now, Shouyou won’t be angry at him, but that also means he’ll be giving Shouyou more work to do, which he doesn’t want to do. But he doesn’t get along with Kumo that well—he won’t go as far as saying that he’s his competitor because that’s ridiculous, but damn, sometimes it do feel like that. Ugh, okay, but if he <em>does </em>trim Kumo’s nails and he does it well, Shouyou will give him more affection than he has in a while.</p><p> </p><p>He turns back and forth as if he’s arguing with himself, and just as he’s about to give up and tell Shouyou that he’s in some fake meeting, he turns to see his husband bounding up to him happily with the nail trimmer in hand. Kenma tries to match his smile, but it doesn’t really work.</p><p> </p><p>“Here you go, thank you for helping me, love!”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou gives him a quick smooch, and before he could get in any argument, the ginger is already gone around the corner to wherever he was before. Kenma sighs. He wants more kisses.</p><p> </p><p>So here he was, face to face with his enemy: Kumo.</p><p> </p><p>The kitten was actually facing away from him, but that’s beside the point! This was the closest he’s gotten to Kumo in the past twenty minutes because as soon as the nail clipper is in sight, Kumo is out of sight. So Kenma’s resorted to just stuffing the thing in his pocket for now so he could just <em>grab </em>Kumo and get this over with!</p><p> </p><p>“Oi, Kumo,” he calls, watching the kitten peer over his shoulder from where he was at the scratching post. “C’mere, Pa just wants to talk.”</p><p> </p><p>The kitten pauses, seeming to contemplate where Kenma was going with this. Kenma takes a step forward.</p><p> </p><p>“You want treats? Pa’s got treats.”</p><p> </p><p>Another step forward. <em>Almost there!</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Kumo looks like he’s about to run off, though, so Kenma stops as well, thinking of what else he could do to get Kumo closer to him. He’s already tried being calm and collected and he mentioned treats but Kumo is still wary. He gives it another minute before he has his Aha! moment and lifts his hand, palm down. He curls his digits together, as if he were about to scoop up snow, and then he starts to wave his arm in the air.</p><p> </p><p>“Bum pats?”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo’s eyes light up. Kenma’s never felt so proud of himself before.</p><p> </p><p>He crouches down a little bit more until he’s in a squat, still repeating a patting motion with his cupped hand.</p><p> </p><p>“You want bum pats, Kumo?”</p><p> </p><p>The kitten looks cautious, but soon enough, he starts to walk towards Kenma with his tail raised, the tip of it flicking back and forth in anticipation. Kenma tries to put on his best infomercial-guy-who-is-desperate-to-sell-something face, continuing to let the kitten walk towards him at his own pace. One step forward, two steps forward, and then Kumo is directly underneath Kenma’s hand, the kitten lifting himself up to get Kenma’s hand to pat him.</p><p> </p><p>Good, he’s getting comfortable.</p><p> </p><p>A few pats in and Kenma sees it: the optimal opportunity! The chance to use his trap card! The time to use his special move!</p><p> </p><p>He swoops in and grabs Kumo before he even realizes he’s been bamboozled (hah, what a noob), and proceeds to get slashed up while trimming the baby’s nails.</p><p> </p><p>Later that night, he asks Shouyou to kiss every little scratch on his face, and of course, like the angel he is, he takes all the pain away (Kenma is choosing to omit the portion where Kumo also got a lot of kisses and cuddles from Shouyou for enduring the nail clipping event. He closed his eyes when it happened, so it simply Does Not Exist).</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Paw.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s hand is held out, palm up in front of Kumo, who glances up at him in confusion.</p><p> </p><p>The kitten has grown up a little more in the past few weeks, no longer crying every time either one of them leaves the room, but he does still have this huge, undying bias for Kenma’s husband that he desperately wants to get rid of. So he’s doing it in the most mutually beneficial way possible: spending more time with Kumo.</p><p> </p><p>Don’t get him wrong, he wants nothing more than to laze around in bed with his love, but if he isn’t careful, there could be someone else lazing around with them, which means Kenma doesn’t get to be horny on main. It all sounds like Kenma’s doing this for his own good, but he swears he does have some sort of affection towards Kumo. It’s just… not as much as Shouyou loves Kumo, that’s all.</p><p> </p><p>When Kumo doesn’t respond to his command, he tries again, wiggling his fingers this time when he holds out his hand.</p><p> </p><p>“Paw.”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo steps a little bit closer, which looks adorable because it almost seemed like he was worried he wouldn’t be able to reach out far enough. He situates himself right in front of Kenma and then slowly, he tilts his head back and forth towards the upward hand until he understands, and lifts a small paw to place in Kenma’s palm.</p><p> </p><p>God, is this what it feels like to be a Pokémon master? To get a gold on a Cooking Mama recipe? To somehow get Link to climb up a mountain even when it rains?</p><p> </p><p>Silently, Kenma lifts a hand, balling it together to do a celebratory fist pump to himself before he reaches into his pocket to take out a treat to give Kumo.</p><p> </p><p>“Atta boy. Other paw?”</p><p> </p><p>Mouth still chewing, Kumo ignores him for a little while, taking his time to chew and swallow the treat he was given. But this time, he doesn’t need a repeat to get him to lift his other paw. Seems like the treat system works pretty well. Kenma thinks he might just ascend with the rush of power he felt.</p><p> </p><p>“Good job. Okay, once more. Paw?”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo lifts his paw, but just as he’s about to land it onto Kenma’s palm, the front door chimes, causing the kitten to completely ditch Kenma for Shouyou. Honestly, he can’t blame the kid. He’d ditch just about anyone for Shouyou, too.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh goodness, Kumo, what’s wrong?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma makes it to the entranceway just in time to see a bundled up Shouyou crouching down with both hands out towards Kumo, who waves his paw around until it finally lands in one of Shouyou’s hands. The ginger’s face lights up at the sight, and he giggles, lifting up one hand to scratch behind Kumo’s ear.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, what a good boy, Kumo! Did Pa teach you how to give your paw?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, I did,” chin up, Kenma responds before Kumo could do anything about it. Unfair, really, if he thinks about it. But life is unfair. “He did it really well with me, baby, you should’ve seen.”</p><p> </p><p>“Can you do it now??”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma glances over at Shouyou, whose eyes were completely on him and thinks that he’s about to ruin ever other cat trainer’s career as he walks over and crouches next to Kumo as well. The kitten’s got his eyes trained on Shouyou, but that’s alright, because Kenma simply reaches a hand in between them, wiggling his fingers like he did earlier.</p><p> </p><p>“Kumo, paw.”</p><p> </p><p>The kitten turns to him, tilting his head up to look at his Pa. He lifts a paw, moves it so it hovers over Kenma’s palm and then brings it back towards himself so he could do some grooming.</p><p> </p><p>“Bro, what the fuck?!”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou’s giggling off to the side and Kenma’s suddenly reminded of the severity of is situation. If he doesn’t manage to get Kumo to hand him his paw, he’ll embarrass himself in front of his lovely husband!</p><p> </p><p>Clearing his throat, Kenma tries once more, showing his hand to Kumo.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Kumo, paw.”</em></p><p> </p><p>This time, the kitten ignores his hand, stepping closer to him so that he could leap onto his shoulders and over onto Shouyou’s.</p><p> </p><p>“You brat.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aw, isn’t he adorable? Maybe he’s just a genius kitty then, aren’t you, Kumo?”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma brings two fingers up to his face, pointing towards his own eyes before he flicks his fingers to Kumo’s direction in the most menacing way he could.</p><p> </p><p>Little fucker just meows at him and nibbles on his fingers because he knows he can get away with it.</p><p> </p><p>Damn.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“You know, you’re actually pretty cute when you want to be.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma is currently seated on the ground, a feathery toy in hand. He flicks it back and forth in front of Kumo to see the kitten’s head move along with the movement, his little paws unable to keep up with the feather. Kumo pounces at it when Kenma pauses for a split second only to land on his back, legs dangling in the air pitifully. Kenma can’t help but let out a small huff at the sight.</p><p> </p><p>“Why can’t you be like this more, hm? Why are you so lovey-dovey with my husband, but Satan’s shit when I’m in the room?”</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Meowww.”</em></p><p>
  
</p><p>Kumo tries to pounce at the feather once again, lifting his bum in the air and giving it a cautionary shake before he leaps high up into the air—perhaps a good two centimeters off the floor. Poor baby, he looks so proud of it, too, completely unaware that he didn’t come anywhere near the feather Kenma had lifted up towards his own face.</p><p> </p><p>“God, you suck at this. You remind me of Shouyou back in his first year of high school—”</p><p> </p><p>Wait.</p><p> </p><p>“Shouyou… as a cat…”</p><p> </p><p>Distracted by his sudden daydreaming about a dolled up Shouyou, decked out in a maid costume with frills and sheer thigh highs and <em>cat ears</em>, Kenma completely forgets about Kumo. Well, if we’re being accurate, he completely forgets everything—head empty, no thoughts, just cat maid Shouyou.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Welcome home, Kenma!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Cat maid Shouyou would say, seated prettily on his knees at the entranceway when Kenma comes home from… whatever it is he just came from. At a higher angle, Kenma would be able to see past the little hint of cleavage from the revealing outfit, and that along with the sliver of skin above his thigh highs is just enough to make Kenma glad that he decided to be a working member of society with a day job.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“What would you like first, Kenma?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, of course, Shouyou must say the legendary line.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Dinner? A shower? Or maybe… me?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Cat maid Shouyou lifts a hand to push the frilly collar of his uniform past his shoulder, the other hand bunched up at his chest in the stereotypical image of anime innocence. Except with Shouyou, he’s the blueprint, never the copy. Kenma’s Shouyou could never be a copy.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Throat dry, Kenma steps forward, easily toeing off his shoes before he reaches a hand out to trace the prettily flushed skin of Shouyou’s shoulder, watching the other boy’s cat ears twitch. God, what advanced technology. He should invest in more merch like this, for his sanity’s sake.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“I’d like you, Shouyou.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Cat maid Shouyou flutters his eyelashes, tilting his head to the side and pressing a dainty finger to his lower lip as he widens his honey brown eyes.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“How would you like me?”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, the answers he could give. Lord knows what he’d do to get to put Shouyou in every position possible. Still contemplating, he uses this time to ghost his fingers over the exposed skin of Shouyou’s shoulder, then over the base of his neck, up the column of his throat where his fingers finally land on those soft, pink lips.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Brushing his thumb over Shouyou’s lower lip, he revels in the soft whimper he gets in return, and slowly, he pushes past those pretty lips, watching as Shouyou’s lips close around his fingers and he…</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>…Bites?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>“Meowwww!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Shit!”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma breaks out of his trance, glancing down to see an irritated Kumo biting on his unmoving thumb. He briefly takes a moment to wipe away his drool with the back of his free hand before he’s gently shaking Kumo off, a look of concern on his face as he inspects the little teeth marks now littered on his poor thumb.</p><p> </p><p>“The fuck was that, Kumo?!”</p><p> </p><p>The <em>meow </em>he gets in response makes him think that Kumo just insulted him for being a sad simp for his own husband.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t understand, he’s perfect! And he’d be even more perfect if he had those cat ears!”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo seems to pause and contemplate Kenma’s words, the kitten’s face finally contorting into a look of disgust before he turns away and flicks up his tail, waddling away from Kenma and over to the scratch post. Kenma thinks that Kumo might be visualizing his face on the thing.</p><p> </p><p>In a fit of irrational anger, Kenma lifts a hand to shake in the air, mind running miles a minute about what cat merchandise he should buy for Shouyou.</p><p> </p><p>“<em>Pshh, </em>kids these days. You’ll understand one day, you menace! Just wait when <em>you </em>get a husband as cute and as sexy as Shouyou! You won’t be this cocky then!”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo just continues scratching away, completely unbothered. What a brat.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Listen here, you little shit.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma’s got an accusatory finger pointed at the little gremlin that’s been jeopardizing his time alone with Shouyou, though it doesn’t seem to be working with the way Kumo rubs his head against Kenma’s outstretched hand. In an attempt to maintain his sternness, Kenma scrunches up his face, scowling.</p><p> </p><p>“No, you don’t get to do that—no, stop, you’re being very disrespectful right now. Is that how you act around your Pa? What would your Dad say?!”</p><p> </p><p>“Meow.”</p><p> </p><p>“No, Kumo, you don’t get it, you keep stealing Shouyou’s attention from me!”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo purrs, leaning forward to nuzzle his forehead against Kenma’s knuckles.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s a dirty move and you know it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Meowww.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“No.”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>“Mrrp?”</p><p> </p><p>Head tilted up, Kumo fixes his sitting position, politely crossing one paw in front of the other as he glances up at Kenma with his <em>dumb, </em>bright sky blue eyes. Kenma slouches as soon as their eyes meet, knowing well that he’s lost the fight this time (as he always does). But just to assert dominance as Kumo's Pa, he makes sure to give Kumo one last glare before he makes his way over to the treats cabinet.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay fine, do you want the salmon skin or the chicken jerky?”</p><p> </p><p>After the light snack, Kenma steps out of the kitchen with Kumo in his arms, the kitten actively trying to get away from his hold and hilariously failing because Kenma is just Strong. He’s in the middle of scolding Kumo for trying to bite his finger off when Shouyou steps out from the bathroom, skin flushed and towel wrapped around his neck. He looks <em>delicious. </em>Upon seeing the two, Shouyou chuckles softly, raising a brow at the two.</p><p>
  
</p><p>“You two are awfully chummy these days, aren’t you?”</p><p> </p><p>Kumo meows in disagreement, paws straightening out in an attempt to push Kenma away. Kenma, in return, gets upset that his mental undressing session gets cut short because a certain someone keeps trying to move away from him. He holds onto Kumo a little tighter, getting an angry meow from the kitten.</p><p> </p><p>“No, you’re going to stay here until you learn your lesson and <em>stop </em>trying to bite me!”</p><p> </p><p>Silence follows for a bit before Shouyou makes a little whine and immediately, Kenma’s eyes are on him.</p><p> </p><p>His baby’s got a pretty pout on his lips, fingers nervously fiddling with a loose thread on the towel.</p><p> </p><p>Gently, Kenma places Kumo down before tending to Shouyou, arms wrapped loosely around the ginger’s waist.</p><p> </p><p>“Baby, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?”</p><p> </p><p>“Hmph, I… I don’t wanna say.”</p><p> </p><p>Frowning, Kenma reaches up to grab onto Shouyou’s chin, turning his head back towards him.</p><p> </p><p>“No, tell me what’s wrong, I wanna know what’s wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s childish!”</p><p> </p><p>“And? I still want to hear it.”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou pouts again, averting his eyes, though it’s clear that he wants to say it. After a minute or so of silence and Kenma just gently brushing a thumb over Shouyou’s cheek, the ginger breaks, mumbling something under his breath.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t hear that. Can you say that one more time?”</p><p> </p><p>“I said, I miss you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Wha—”</p><p> </p><p>“I dunno, it’s really childish, I just—I just want you to give me a little more attention? Please?”</p><p> </p><p>Shouyou glances up at him through his eyelashes and suddenly all of Kenma’s blood decided to take a trip south. He pulls away from Shouyou, realizes his mistake and then quickly leans in to press a lingering kiss against his husband’s lips. When he pulls away this time, he’s got a determined glint in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>“Baby, give me twenty minutes—no, ten minutes, I’ll be right back, okay? Wait for me in the bedroom, I’ll be right back.”</p><p> </p><p>And with that, Kenma rushes off, tossing Kumo over his shoulder and bringing him to the car, where he speeds past a school zone, runs three red lights, and accidentally runs over someone’s flowers.</p><p> </p><p>He arrives at Kuroo’s place at top speed, knuckles rapping against a metal door frantically.</p><p> </p><p>“Ooh, Kenma, why’re you here—”</p><p> </p><p>“Shut up and take this.”</p><p> </p><p>Kenma hands Kumo to Kuroo first before tossing a wad of cash into the man’s face, along with a thing of coupons he found in his wallet (probably Shouyou’s, oops).</p><p> </p><p>“What is going on—”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m tryna fuck my husband, that’s it. Watch the kid for us, will you?!”</p><p> </p><p>And Kenma speeds right back home to his lovely, lovely husband.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>(“Kenma, we got a package, did you buy something recently?”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah, I did. It’s for you, sweetheart.”</p><p> </p><p>“Aw, love, you didn’t have to! What is it?”</p><p> </p><p>“Come back here and find out.”)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading, i love you and appreciate you so much mUAH!!! &lt;3</p><p>-gracie</p><p> <a href="https://twitter.com/h2owo2?s=09"> twt!!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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